For the past year and a half I worked 10 hour days 6 days and on call the remaining hours of the week. I wasn’t living. I was existing to earn a paycheck. Don’t get me wrong the money was good, no… great, but I was consumed by a job that I hated. Wait, I didn’t hate the job and I loved the people. It was just too much. I was exhausted, I did nothing but work. The time away from home even jeopardized my marriage but in my mind somehow I justified I had to do it. In January I realized NO I DON”T HAVE TO DO IT. I had a little money saved up. I sold my convertible (I will replace it again one day) and anything else that wasn’t nailed down that would bring a few bucks. The bills would be paid for a few months. You know that the bills still come even when a paycheck doesn’t.
Now what? I had no idea. I think that I mourned my leaving. Honestly, I was wound tighter than an eight-day clock. I wanted to exhale, to breathe, to be excited for what lay ahead, but I couldn’t. I have learned that we are a lot like animals, we are creatures of habit. Oh, don’t get me wrong, I loved hearing my alarm chime and knowing that I could turn it off and go back to sleep. I slept and slept and slept … Some would have thought that I was in a depression. I like to think of it as a decompression. I had to find my new rhythm. For 18 months, I was like a robot. I was doing the same thing at the same time everyday. I had to reschedule and reorganize. One morning I got up and I finally exhaled. It felt great!
That morning I called our local newspaper and asked if could I start writing for them again. “Sure, we would love that”, was the answer that I was praying for. I was covering a story the following weekend. The money is not great. It isn’t even good but it is my passion. It is what I want to do, and what I am meant to do. I know this much is true … when you do something you love it is not a job! But, when you do something that consumes your every moment…it can destroy you and everything around you.
I enjoy life again. I see things clearly. I notice what the weather is. I am not consumed by one thing and life has variety. I am happy…Broke…but happy. Money isn’t everything. Yes, it is easier to cry in nice car than in a cardboard box but I have what I need and I am ALIVE with anticipation of what awaits me in the future!
Click the link below to read the first of many articles to come…
I really enjoyed meeting the people when covering this story. I saw a passion in the Director that reiterated to me that I had made the right decision. I believe that people are placed in our lives for a specific reason. We have to have open eyes and have a trusting heart to realize what that reason may be.